Lucky oh Lucky...

You know Lucky, after having struggled to survive the heat and dust of a frustrating, boring and monotonous life, you often get the feeling that the end is not very far- the end of life. A sun-stroke is first going to get you down and then the heat is going to burn you down to ashes and these ashes are to be carried away by a strong heat wave finally making you a part of this great desert storm called ‘Dissatisfaction’- a collection of ashes of millions of dissatisfied and frustrated people who finally succumbed to the pressures of life. So, I was now preparing to get hit by a sun-stroke any time, any where and become a part of this storm, the only consolation being that I wasn’t alone.All dreams of becoming successful in life, hopes of achieving something great- all down the drain. I felt like this was it- the end is here. But that wasn’t to be. For the first time in my life, somebody walked in, like a cool breeze in the heat of the summers. Clouds started to fill the skies covering the sun and taking away the heat. And droplets- falling down onto my face- seems like its been years since it rained. The droplets- more like droplets of medicinal potion dropping from the heavens- healing all the wounds on my forehead and face, wounds caused by the stones thrown at me by life. But ironically Lucky, I wasnt thinking about all this frenzy happening around me- all I could I could think about then was her face. I have seen faces- bright faces, beautiful faces, enlightened faces, inspiring faces, livening faces- but By-Jove Lucky, I havent seen a face like that- a face that’s all of this and yet so much more. Her eyes- every time I look into her eyes- I have to keep looking at them and yet- I don’t want to stare into them for too long- she might just shy away- I don’t want to ruin the little that exists between us.

The other day, I was driving home and I happened to stop at Café Prado. It was raining like crazy. And I happened to see her. She was waiting in the shade for the rain to subside so that she could get back home. I was about to wave to her from inside my car- when she did something unexpected, insane I’d say. She threw away her umbrella and walked into the rain- raised her arms and looked up at the heavens with her eyes closed. She was enjoying the rains- not worried about getting drenched or about what someone would think. She then broke into a dance- a dance of joy, the joy being released, released from the prison of life. It was as if she stole all the fun everyone around her had stocked up but never used. I waited inside the car, motionless, watching her enjoy.Success today for me would be just going out and dancing with her. Achieving would be just to hold her hands. She was full of life, full of fun, full of Love- my god lucky- did I just say love??? My life has started making sense again Lucky- I have a mission now. I have to tell her that I love her, I love just looking at her face, I love just talking to her, just looking at her talk– I don’t care if she likes me or not, I anyways don’t deserve her, I’m too human for something as divine as her, but in case I manage to get her attention, I’m at least assured of the fact that she wont mind me looking into her eyes everyday for a couple of minutes more, talking to her for a few minutes more, maybe jump out of the car and dance with her next time- that’ll be so heavenly, ecstatic. I know I’m being selfish to be dreaming to achieve all this- I already have got my life back and I thank the almighty each day for it- but- still somewhere deep inside- I hope that she loves me too. I’m aware that there is no quality worth loving in me- but today I pray with all heart and hope that there is some quality somewhere in me, that I’m not aware of, and that she loves about me…